What if
by caitewarren
Summary: What if John overheard Dean telling Mary that he was her son what was he thinking about the monster he would become the man that Sam hated for most of his life and learn that he loses his wife. R
1. Chapter 1

**Would not leave my head: During **_**"The Song Remains The Same" **_**when Dean is explaining to Mary who he really is what if John had overheard?**

"I'm your son. Sorry. I don't know how else to say it. We're from the year 2010. An angel zapped us back here. Not the one that attacked you. Friendlier," the man named Dean told my wife.

"You can't expect me to believe that," Mary replied

_If Mary didn't believe him than I won't she's been hunting these things for years._

"Our names are Dean and Sam Winchester. We're named after your parents. When I would get sick, you would make me tomato-rice soup, because that's what your mom made you. And instead of a lullaby, you would sing "Hey Jude", 'cause that's your favorite Beatles song," says Dean.

_That was Mary's favorite song, some nights I could hear her singing it in the car on long rode trips. No, no what Sam told me what kind of bastard raises kids to be hunters? Apparently I do. No Sam said his mother died not my Mary please. _

"I...I don't believe it. No," says Mary.

"I'm sorry, but it's true," says Dean.

"I raised my kids to be hunters?" Mary asked.

_No Mary you didn't raise our kids I raised our kids to be hunters. I'm the man Sam ends up hating for most of his life and the one who gives his life protecting his sons. Mary you promised me we'd grow old please don't die._

"No. No, you didn't," Dean says.

"How could I do that to you?"

"You didn't do it. Because you're dead," says Dean.

"What? What happened?" asks Mary.

_Tell us how to prevent your mother's death just tell me how to kill it and I'll make sure it doesn't take your mother. _

"Yellow-eyed demon. He killed you, and John became a hunter to get revenge. He raised us in this life. Listen to me. A demon comes into Sam's nursery exactly six months after he's born. November second, nineteen eighty-three. Remember that date. And whatever you do, do not go in there. You wake up that morning and you take Sam and you run,"

_Sam why he is after Sam? Who would go after something so pure and so innocent a six month old baby my baby. Mary's baby our baby. Don't say more I can't hear how much of my life I'll screw up or my sons' life. _

"That's not good enough, Dean. Wherever she goes, the demon's gonna find her. Find me," says Sam.

_How is that not good enough? We'll take you somewhere safe Sam both of you boys._

"Well, then what?" asks Dean.

"She can leave Dad. That's what. You got to leave John.," says Sam.

_No Mary don't listen to them please I can't live without you I don't know how I do in the future please don't leave me Mary we'll get past this._

"What?" Mary asks.

"When this is all over, walk away, and never look back," says Sam.

"So we're never born. He's right,"

_Never born our children? _

"I-I can't. You're saying that you're my children, and now you're saying—,"

_Mary our children will be born. _

"You have no other choice. There's a big difference between dying and never being born. And trust me, we're okay with it, I promise you that," Dean tells her.

"Okay, well, I'm not.," says Mary.

"Listen, you think you can have that normal life that you want so bad, but you can't. I'm sorry. It's all gonna go rotten. You are gonna die, and your children will be cursed," says Sam, "everything is going to burn,"

_So we won't be normal? Who wants to be normal I want my wife and my children._

"There—there has to be a way," says Mary.

"No, this is the way. Leave John,"

_Mary you wouldn't I would follow you even if you left the country._

"I can't," says Mary.

"This is bigger than us. There are so many more lives at stake—

"You don't understand. I can't. It's too late. I'm...I'm pregnant," says Mary.

_Pregnant? Pregnant? The honeymoon oh great she's fighting monsters while carrying our son._

Then Sam noticed his presence.

"John," Mary and Dean mutter.

"I heard everything," he admits.

_They have the same eyes Dean and my Mary. They look so much a like and Sam and I we look more alike_.

"I agree with your mother," he adds.

**AN: Quotes are directly from the show that I do not own.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Pretend the Angels aren't coming just yet.**

Sam and Dean exchanged a glance than looked at their parents.

"Look then leave Dad I'm sorry I just can't be born," says Sam.

"Sammy," Dean began, "no,"

"No what?" asks Sam, "do you have a better plan than this? If I'm not born neither of our parents will die, nothing will happen Dean you won't have to-

"Sam no," says Dean.

_How bad is the future for Sam not to want to exist? I'm sorry too bad._

"Dean," says Sam.

"Sam," says Dean.

"We'll find another way," says Mary, "Sam,"

She takes another step towards our youngest son. The way he flinches scares me. She places her hand to his cheek.

"I'm sorry," says Mary.

"You told me that before," Sam admits.

_Before? You mean after Mary died_.

"Sam," Dean shakes his head.

"Right,"

Mary breaks into tears.

"If I hadn't made that deal," she sobs, "I couldn't stand to be alone you have to understand it killed my parents it killed John,"

_What? When did I die? I do not remember dying Mar._

"John I'm sorry," says Mary, "I can't this is all I wanted a family to be safe,"

"I'm sorry Mary but that life it's just not gonna happen," says Dean.

"Maybe I won't raise you as hunters," John says.

_I mean it too. I'm sure I could got on without getting revenge for my wife. Though if it consoles my sons maybe I'll find the strength. _

"You drove yourself trying to find Mom's killer," says Dean, "and I kill him twenty-three years later,"

_He glares at me and I could see the betrayal, the pain and the hurt nothing a man as young as he is or maybe just maybe he's older than me now which is odd to think since I'm his dad but he shouldn't be feeling this._

"I could stop," says John.

"You watched Mom die," says Sam, "you ran into my nursery that night and you watched mom burst into flames you gave me to Dean telling him to run and don't look back,"

"Flames?" Mary cries.

_Everything burns that's what he meant. My wife burns in my son's nursery no, no, no, no_.

"Tell us how to kill this monster," John says, "tell us how to save your mother,"

"It's destined he will kept trying," says Sam.

"I don't care," spat out John, "she's my wife your mother how could you not try to stop it,"

"I already have," Dean says, "it's gonna happen if I am born or Sam is. You could get an abortion wait till after 83 and have kids have a huge family a safe family ,"

"An _abortion_?" asks Mary, "I will _not _abort you or my _baby_. I do not want a huge family I want my sons,"

"Then your house will burn along with your 'normal life' and ours as well," says Sam.

Sam walks away leaving Dean smiling awkwardly at his parents. John follows.

"What you said before," says John, "I'm sorry I promise you I won't become that man,"

"You will," says Sam, "it wasn't your choice you lost Mom you thought you were doing your best and I know that you are um will do?"

"That is not good enough," says John, "I'm your father it's my job to protect you I stick by what I said earlier,"

"You died protecting me and my brother," says Sam.

_At least I died protecting my boys, and Mary dies trying to protect him._

"Why won't you tell us how to kill the monster that killed your mother?" asks John, "we'll find a way to keep her safe and after you're born Sam we'll find a way to protect you please just tell me how to save your mom,"

"It won't rest until it finds me and kills her," replied Sam, "I'm sorry,"

_Sorry you have a chance to go back to 1978 prevent your mother's death and you won't take it? Prevent me from becoming the man you hate._

"Sam," says John.

Dean walks up behind the two.

"Don't you think we want to?" asks Dean, "Mary is our mother we love her don't you think we want to kill that thing back in 1973 I came close to killing him. He killed you two and our grandparents and many more mothers,"

He places his head down defeated and walks back to Mary.

"Why?" she asks him with her big green eyes watering.

"Mary," says John, "I'm sorry our kids,"

"Are hunters," Mary spat out, "John this is the lat thing I ever wanted,"

"What did he say to you when he made that deal?"

"He'd swing by our house in ten years," Mary cries, "but November is past the ten year mark,"

"What was he doing in Sam's nursery?" John asks.

They notice both of their full grown sons standing there.

"What was he doing in Sam's nursery?" demands Mary.

_I'm not sure if I even want to hear that. Just tell your mother maybe I can put my fingers in my ears._

"Tell me," Mary says, "please,"

They break from their mother's glare.

"Feeding demon blood into Sam's mouth," says Dean.

Sam looks away. _Blood? My baby' s mouth? _

"All those little deals he made back in 1973 there were for the people's children," says Dean, "to stand over their cribs and feed demon blood to them. He only kills the mothers if they come into the nursery, some don't ever hear it and some are alive,"

"Then I won't go into the nursery!" Mary declared.

"I told you that last time I was here," says Dean.

"You told me as a stranger as Dean _VanHalen _and now you're my son _Dean Winchester_,"


End file.
